WABI-SABI: A Japanese philosophy, which embraces change and the imperfection that comes along with that 

Written By anouk dreier

Introduction

With growing older, I noticed how my interests changed over time. Some things I have loved and felt close to stopped serving me. Instead of thinking: it’s okay not to like the same stuff anymore because

a) I’m not the same girl I was a few years ago and 

b) It’s a natural part of life to evolve and outgrow certain parts,

I somehow resisted that. I often wonder why I did this, and sometimes I still do this to this day. It’s like I spend all this energy thinking about how it doesn’t feel right and what my dreams could look like instead of actually starting to embrace the change and go after my dreams.

And I think I do this because of fear; the fear of disappointing others, having an argument as a result and defending myself. The fear of regretting it later to have left this side of my life behind. The fear of not being able to handle the consequences.The fear of letting myself fall into the uncertainty and not knowing what it looks like with every step along the way. The fear of not having this perfect plan laid out. The fear of taking the wrong turn along the road. 

Yes, this fear has many different faces and tries to hold me back. I realize now that I let it do that because it made me think that clinging to the known and the certainty creates this perfect and stable life. 

But there is a concept from Japan that lets go of certainty and perfection and embraces the unknown, the uncertainty and the change that comes with engaging with the unknown. Its name is WABI-SABI. Have you heard of it? If not, you might wonder what it means and what it includes. 

The definition of Wabi-Sabi

So, the term WABI-SABI cannot be accurately translated into English, but the English language found a way to describe it. The meaning of both words that make up this term has evolved over time. Both started with a negative connotation, which has disappeared with the passing of the centuries. Today wabi expresses tranquillity, rustic simplicity and beautiful imperfections. The other half of the term, sabi, describes the beauty and calm in what is mature or age. Wabi-Sabi, as a whole, is a concept that describes a way of seeing life. It cherishes change, growth and the imperfection that comes with that. It includes many different aspects and is found, for example, in nature, art, philosophy, and architecture. Still, one quintessence translated in all aspects is that life flows forever. It never remains the same—the only constant in life is change. And therefore, there is nothing to cling to; however much we want that. The only way to become fulfilled is to embrace the change and not resist the flow. This point of view finds its roots in Zen Buddhism. It’s actually one of the “keys of life,” which are: 

  • The impermanence of all living things

    • The first key describes how our identity, emotions, and thoughts constantly flow. It shows the passing of time and the short-lived nature of our existence. 

  • the suffering or impossibility of satisfying all our desires 

    • The second key describes our constant desire for more and the continuous dissatisfaction that comes with that. This dissatisfaction is converted into a kind of emptiness, which drives us to fill it by wanting more. Therefore the word suffering is not understood in the western sense of feeling severe pain but is closer to the meaning of constant dissatisfaction we experience daily. We feel more harmonious and happier by learning to close the gap between our current reality and the “more”.

  • emptiness or nothingness. Absence of the self, of the ego

    • The third key describes the state of presence. It’s a state we experience just in the here and now. We don’t add or eliminate anything; we simply form part of it. This means we don’t feel emptiness at this moment because we don’t feel trapped by worldly desires and don’t think we need to add or eliminate something to get it. 

image: Istockphoto

My light-bulb moment

I understood that looking at life through the lens of WABI-SABI and having the three keys of life in the back of my mind makes it easier to accept change and let go of the idea of perfection. As I’ve already written, WABI-SABI sees life as a subject of constant change. Therefore nothing can ever be complete. And since perfection is a state of completeness, nothing can ever be perfect. Seeing it that way makes it easier for me to let go of this idea of perfection because if I never can reach perfection, what is the point of getting there? With that being said, however, I don’t mean stop giving your best and don’t try to do things right, but instead of going after perfection, strive for excellence. Simply do the best you can at the moment you are, and as the person you are in this moment.

I think there is something so relieving about that because it allows me to be and try out different things without this expectation of having it figured out right away or doing it perfectly. For me, it creates this space to expand and grow in different directions without resting it.

But I also know now that this realization needs practice because I need to become familiar with this way of thinking since I’ve been thinking the opposite way all my life. How can I become familiar with it? Besides the time, I need to figure out different ways to integrate it into my day-to-day life. That’s why I will read more about how to make it part of my life and write more about it in my next blog post. So stay tuned;)


Footnotes


anouk dreier
Next

What surfing has taught me